Guide to a Single Girls Valentine
Okay Valentine is over, I have been single during the last two valentine days, and trust me the overpowering red and pink color everywhere starts to get to you after a while.
Even me, as mushy and romantic and in love with love that i am, that deep feeling of jealousy because you know you are alone and wouldn't be getting jack tends to catch up to you eventually no matter how much you fight it.
So here are my simple guide to a single girls Valentine's day
1) Uninstall BBM for the day, yes if you use a blackberry, better uninstall, all those plenty status updates, display pictures of valentines gift and Boys professing fake love to "the love of his life" - without actually putting any name so that the 5 girls he is involved with all fall under that title- will eventually make you want to puke.
2) Mute all the moist people on your timeline on twitter, and while you are at it, mute the ones in relationships too, oh you might as well mute the jealous ones like you that will spend the entire day hating on Valentines, Yes, no talk of Valentine, we dont want to be reminded about our #foreveralone status now do we?
3) Make sure your fridge is stocked the day before, get some good fruity wine, and a bottle of Vodka also, and get ready to OD on Netflix, no television today also, we dont want to see all those plenty Valentines day ad. *pukes*
4) stay away from Coffee shops , i am serious, those places are depressing on Valentines day, from pink and red colored whipped cream, to heart shaped cookies and what-nots, No coffee today.
5) If your housemate is engaged like mine and is sure to get flowers delivered and a box of chocolates *like mine did*, lock her outside the apartment a day before, this ground is a NO-LOVE zone, i swear down e dey pain, when the delivery guy rings your bell and you know there is no way in hell its for you.
6) Talking about twitter, DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT, open any twitpics, YOU WERE WARNED
7) Gather all your single non-bitching girlfriends and have a "No body better mention Valentines Party", plenty of alcohol and good food, and talk about how you are all too awesome for men anyways
8)If your sister is in a relationship with the man of her dreams as mine is, Warn her in advance that you are not interested in hearing about the awesome gift that she received early in the morning, and the incredible day she has planned, *bore* people in love are so irritating, (-_-)
9) Your Ipod playlist, haha, this should have been number one!!!!, because men, Ipods are the number one betrayers, thats how the thing will start giving you a shuffle of love songs all day, so better sit down with the ipod a day before and create an anti-valentine's playlist any song that mentions, love is out, oh baby is out too, try songs like Rack city, ehen!
10) If you have taken anything i said here seriously, drop a comment, i will especially pray for you tonight, LMAOO